Thoughts
by Pearlz
Summary: Gohan is trying to cope with guilt over his father's death. Also, he tries to find out who he is. *~Complete~*
1. Innocent?!

Thoughts  
  
1 Chapter 1 - Innocent?!  
  
I know this idea has been used like, MILLIONS of times before, but it's my first fic so please be nice. Also please review, I want to see if I've got what it takes.  
  
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"Gohan! Time for dinner!"  
  
Usually Gohan would have been getting up from his wooden chair that was positioned at his studying table, and rushing out of his bedroom so he could beat his Tousan to dinner.  
  
But that was not the way that it was.  
  
Instead, Gohan slowly rose from his chair and laid his pencil on his homework. He pushed in the chair slightly and slowly walked out of his bedroom towards the dining room.  
  
His shoulders were slumped as if he had been defeated. He was staring at the shiny, wooden floorboards as if there were people all around him that were teasing and glaring at him, and the only way for him to avoid them was to stare down at the floor.  
  
"Come on Gohan, I know you can walk faster than that!" ChiChi giggled placing some shiny bowls filled with tasty delights on to the table.  
  
Gohan remained speechless and sat at his chair. He lifted his head to look at the chair where his Tousan usually sat, holding his chopsticks and eagerly waiting for Kaasan to say that he could eat. Nobody was sitting there though, and to Gohan it seemed like nobody had ever sat there, which was wrong. Without his Tousan, nothing seemed right any more.  
  
ChiChi's smile turned into a concerned frown as she noticed Gohan's emotionless face. She slowly sat down at her chair and picked up her chopsticks hoping that that would show Gohan that he was now allowed to eat.  
  
But Gohan remained still, gazing at the empty chair and sometimes peering down at his food.  
  
ChiChi's eyebrows lowered and she began to slowly eat her meal.  
  
Gohan still stared at the chair. He then twitched as if he had suddenly realised where he was and who he was with. He looked back down at his food and took in its aroma. The scent was pleasing to his senses, so he slowly picked up his chopsticks and also began to eat slowly.  
  
ChiChi had stopped eating now, for she was too concerned about Gohan to eat any more. She had noticed how slowly he ate.  
  
For the past few days everything had seemed to be in slow motion when ChiChi saw Gohan. He now studied and completed his homework slowly, ate slowly, walked slowly, everything!  
  
ChiChi had tried being more positive to see if that would lift his mood, but it hadn't.  
  
He also hardly talked any more, as if he was mute.  
  
ChiChi was tired of her son's strange behavior so she asked, "What's wrong Gohan? For about a week you have been acting this way, and it's just not like you. You're usually happy and high-spirited, but now you seem to have become dispirited."  
  
The only things that moved were Gohan's eyes as he looked at his Kaasan before responding, "Nothing's wrong Kaasan."  
  
ChiChi then slammed her fist on the table causing all the plates and bowls to spring into the air and to come crashing down with a clanging noise, "Don't you dare try and say that nothing is wrong Gohan! It's quite obvious that you are depressed!"  
  
Gohan raised his voice slightly and answered, "I said that nothing's wrong Kaasan."  
  
ChiChi was now very frustrated and furious. It showed by the way her fists were clenched and her whole body was quivering.  
  
She then breathed in and out slowly realising that Gohan wasn't going to say anything more to her when she was acting like this. She rose from her chair and gestured towards his bedroom saying, "Let's talk."  
  
Gohan also rose and followed his Kaasan, staring at the floor as he walked.  
  
ChiChi sat down on his bed and he sat down beside her.  
  
ChiChi then put on one of her best fake smiles and said, "Now please explain what is wrong Gohan."  
  
Gohan breathed out deeply and began, "It's just not the same without Tousan. Everything about life does not seem right without him."  
  
ChiChi rubbed Gohan's back and said, "But you were fine before. You were the one who made me happy saying that he wanted it that way so that he could protect us. I didn't fully understand at first, but then I learnt his reasons. Why now are you upset?  
  
Gohan continued, "I was OK until Mirai Trunks left to go back to his time. You see, I used to talk to him about my troubles and he would talk to me about his. Being able to talk to him showed me that he had also gone through many terrible tragedies and that I was not alone. It was the only thing that kept me happy. But after he left, I didn't have anyone else to share my thoughts with who would fully understand. At first I tried to hide it, but there was no point. So that's why I am depressed right now."  
  
ChiChi's frown enhanced and she asked, "What are your thoughts though? What is troubling you so much that it has made you so heavy-hearted?"  
  
Gohan looked up into his Kaasan's face.  
  
ChiChi saw that glistening tears were forming in her son's usually bright, clear eyes.  
  
"It's my fault. Tousan was killed by Cell because I had wasted the opportunity to kill him in the first place. I had been too stubborn, and instead of listening to Tousan, I continued to toy with Cell. Cell eventually ended up starting to self-destruct, and there was nothing I could do about it. I remember Tousan appearing before me, saying how proud he was of me. He then said to say sorry to you for him being so selfish, and said goodbye…"  
  
Gohan then burst into tears. He was sobbing uncontrollably and was masking his face with his hands.  
  
ChiChi was astounded by this. Gohan had never told her about why Goku had died until now, and she could see why.  
  
She hugged Gohan and said with tears in her eyes, "It's not your fault Gohan. I would have done the same thing to that yaro."  
  
Gohan lowered his hands from his face, still sobbing and cried, "No you wouldn't have! You would have listened to Tousan and killed him! I am a murderer! A slaughterer!"  
  
ChiChi made hushing noises and said softly, "You are not Gohan! You are my sweet, innocent son who will one day make a great scholar."  
  
Gohan then pushed his Kaasan away from him shouting, "Innocent?! How can I possibly be innocent after what I've done?"  
  
He quickly stood and enveloped himself in white ki causing his homework papers to be blown around the room.  
  
"Gohan, don't go!"  
  
It was too late. Gohan fled through his window and was gone before ChiChi could do anything about it. 


	2. It's All My Fault!

Thoughts 

Chapter 2 - It's All My Fault! 

Disclaimer - I forgot to do this last time but do any of you really think that I own DBZ? If you do, you must have serious mental problems 

Oh yeah, thanks Jennie for reviewing my fic, because I really didn't expect any reviews. But, thanks! * Runs to Jennie and gives her a hug * 

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Gohan flew until he reached the place that haunted him the most. The desert where he had eventually killed Cell and where his Tousan had died. 

Gohan landed on the hot, sandy ground, shaking the thought out of his head. He was wondering why no grass had started to grow back, as the big wide plain hadn't always been a desert. He wiped away his tears and gazed at what lay before him. 

He didn't know exactly _why _he always came back to the terrible place. Just looking around him reminded him of what had happened two weeks ago. 

Instead of the hot, musty smell of the desert, he smelt blood. The desert winds that carried sand along with them sounded like Cell's maniacal laughing, and everywhere he looked Cell would appear in front of him, taunting and teasing. 

Cell pointed at Gohan and laughing he said, "So you finally were able to defeat me bozu! You were stupid, however! You should have listened to your father, but no you just wanted to make me suffer. Well, Son Gohan, you have caused suffering, but not to me. You have caused it to your dear friends, your Kaasan and especially your Tousan!" 

Gohan's tears started to roll down his face again. He clenched his fists and shouted, "You're lying Cell! Tousan said that it wasn't my fault and that he was proud of me for overcoming you!" 

Cell shook his head and smirked, "Oh Son Gohan, how can you say that I am lying when you believe that it is your fault that your Tousan died. It is your fault still, if you had of killed me earlier your Tousan would still be alive!" 

Gohan closed his eyes and shouted even louder, "Shut up! How would you even know what I am feeling right now?!" 

"Because it shows so easily by your face. I always watch you, when you are eating, studying, sleeping even, and all those times you have been crying. The only time you don't cry is when you are in your Kaasan's presence. She is mad at you and hates you. She only hides it because she cannot get rid of you!" 

Gohan took a step forward, his eyes still closed and cried, "Take that back! Kaasan loves me and always will no matter what!" 

Cell crossed his arms and said quietly but with a tone that would scare even the bravest of warriors, "Your Tousan also hates you. I see him all the time, and he and I are the best of friends. He is always training, and when he gets the chance he said that he would kill you himself. Every time I say your name he becomes irate and shoots a ki blast at me. So you see, you are the one that has been defeated!" 

Gohan couldn't take it any longer. He lunged forward at Cell with his fist and screamed. The image of Cell disappeared and Gohan crashed into the ground because of the speed and force that he had put into the attack. He coughed as dust billowed around him. 

Piccolo had been watching from the sky after he had sensed Gohan fleeing from his Kaasan. To him, it had looked like Gohan was shouting and then had attacked the air only to come crashing into the ground. 

_He has gone crazy. Who could he possibly of been shouting at if no one was standing there? He did say Cell _

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__Piccolo's trail of thoughts ended as he saw Gohan sitting on the ground crying.Piccolo slowly descended towards the ground. As he landed, Gohan looked up at him with tears streaming down his face. 

Piccolo narrowed his eyes and said, "What's wrong Gohan? First, you leave your Kaasan in such a hurry and then I see you shouting and then attacking nothing!" 

Gohan sniffed and replied, "I keep on seeing Cell everywhere. He mocks and teases me! He keeps on saying that everyone hates me, especially Tousan. I can't make him go away, all I can do is to try and ignore him." 

"You're having illusions of Cell? But why, you killed him," Piccolo said in a concerned tone. 

"I don't know! I want to make him go away, but I can't!" Gohan sobbed. 

Piccolo thought for a moment and asked, "Are you feeling any negative feelings at the moment? 

Gohan nodded his head, "Hai. I feel guilt for the death of Tousan, because it was my fault." 

Piccolo crossed his arms and replied, "It is not your fault Gohan. Things could have been worse if you had killed Cell earlier." 

Gohan stood up abruptly and whispered harshly, "What could have possibly been worse than killing my Tousan! At least Kaasan wouldn't have had to suffer, and neither would anyone else. Kaasan lost her husband, Kuririn would still have his best friend, Vegeta would still have a strong desire to fight and most of all, I would still have my Tousan. Nobody and nothing can change what I have done." 

Piccolo was frustrated now and shouted, "Will you stop blaming yourself?! Your Tousan said himself that it was not your fault, isn't that enough proof?!" 

Gohan tensed and then shouted, "CAN'T YOU SEE THAT THE ONLY REASON HE SAID THAT WAS TO HIDE THE TRUTH?! I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE FOR ALL THE PAIN I HAVE CAUSED EVERYONE! IT'S ALL MY FAULT!" 

Gohan started to scream as his ki increased dramatically. Piccolo had to look away and shield himself as a Gohan transformed into Super Saiya-jin. Gohan continued to scream as he had lost all self restraint and control, and began to transform to the form beyond Super Saiya-jin. His golden hair turned upright and his muscles bulged. His ki finally erupted in a bright flash that temporarily blinded Piccolo. 

Before Gohan could think about what he was doing, he lunged forward and kicked Piccolo, causing him to crash into a canyon nearby. Then he flew off at an amazing speed, leaving Piccolo unconscious. 

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Well that's all for Chapter 2. Please review, as I'd like to see if I need to improve on anything. 


	3. Who Are You?

Thoughts 

Chapter 3 - Who Are You? 

Disclaimer - Again with this nonsense, no I do **_NOT_** own DBZ, OK? 

Thanks for everyone who reviewed!!! 

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Gohan had no control over himself as he was in his ascended form. The only thing that he could think about was why everyone kept on telling him that it wasn't his fault when it was. 

_Kuso! Why does everyone say that it is not my fault?! Can't anyone understand that if I had of killed Cell when Tousan told me to, he wouldn't have had to sacrifice himself and would still be alive?! I don't deserve to live! _

Gohan was flying at an incredible speed over the ocean that he had reached just minutes after he had struck Piccolo. The water cascaded around him, droplets of water occasionally drenching his face. The water could not change his emotionless expression, however. Although his mind was pulsing with rage, his face hid that emotion flawlessly. 

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Piccolo started to stir about an hour after Gohan had left. His face was contorting with pain as he slowly began to stand up. As soon as he was standing, he had to crouch over and cough. Drops of Piccolo's blood splattered onto the ground in front of him. He stood upright again and closed his eyes, searching for Gohan's ki. 

As soon as he found it, his eyes widened in terror. _Gohan is still in his ascended form! He cannot control himself and may harm some innocent people without thinking. I have to stop him!_ Piccolo then realized how Gohan had knocked him out so easily and looked at the ground. _I can't help him at all without being harmed or even killed. He can't stay like that forever though, his ki will soon start to diminish. I'll just have to wait and hope that he doesn't do anything stupid._

Piccolo powered up and started to fly back to Kami's Palace. 

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Gohan was now flying over a humid rain forest. He was starting to calm down, but only a little. His eyes twitched as he was becoming tired from using so much ki. He landed in a tremendous tree that towered more than one hundred feet above the other treetops. He changed back to his Super Saiya-jin form, his muscles contracting and his hair becoming shorter. Then his hair and eyes turned ebony and his golden aura disappeared. 

He then remembered about what he had done to Piccolo and looked at his hands in shock. _I can't believe I did that! Piccolo-san_

Gohan then fell on his back, his arm resting on a tree branch, and fell asleep. 

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Gohan woke up suddenly and looked around. The sky was a bright orange as the sun rose slowly. 

_Nani?! I slept all night?! _

He then remembered about the past day's events, how he had ran away from Kaasan because she didn't understand. How he had landed in the same desert where he had killed Cell and had been confronted by Piccolo-san. How he had become enraged at Piccolo-san and had! 

Something in Gohan's mind was warning him not to think about it. It had been the same thing that had caused Tousan's death. The violent, hidden power that hid itself inside until Gohan became extremely pissed and couldn't hide it away and longer. 

Gohan didn't know where to go. How could he face Kaasan after he had stormed out on her like that? But he didn't want to stay in the forest, so Gohan leaped from the tree. He then staggered suddenly and landed on the ground. 

_What happened to me? I don't have any ki, but that would mean that I'm dead. No, if I was dead I would be in hell, and this doesn't look like hell _

"WHAT'S GOING ON?!" Gohan screamed in frustration. He was definitely not in the mood for any more problems in his life at the moment. 

"Shut up baka! You should know that screaming like that hurts our ears!" 

Gohan's eyebrows knitted. He eyed the dark trees surrounding him, not daring to move his head. He tried to sense for the voice's ki, but there was none. In fact, there was no ki at all that he could sense. He couldn't even sense Vegeta, who should have been awake and training by now. 

"Both of you should be quiet. You're both hurting my ears!" 

That voice had come from behind him. Gohan couldn't help it, he leaped to face the new voice and bent down in a fighting stance. _Strange, they both sound the same_

A twig snapped from the direction of the first voice. Gohan rushed towards the noise only to be met by a fist. Terrible pain spread through Gohan's body. _Nani?! I've never felt so much pain!_ He bent over and held his stomach and looked up into the eyes of himself! 

Gohan screamed again in surprise and fell onto his bottom. 

"I thought I told you to stop screaming! You're just like a dumb, little girl!" 

Gohan calmed himself down and looked at the other boy. The boy was a Saiya-jin because he had a tail. He was wearing armor identical to the one that Gohan had worn when he was training in the Room of Spirit and Time, and had the exact same haircut as Gohan. What shocked Gohan the most was that the boy looked exactly like him, except that this boy had a hard, mean expression. 

"Humph, you shouldn't be calling him a little girl when you scream nearly as much as him!" 

Gohan looked over his shoulder, his eyes narrowed, at the other intruder. This one looked like a normal human boy, yet he also seemed to look like Gohan. He had the same hair style that Gohan regretfully remembered having while he was on Namek-sei. He was wearing a normal long-sleeved white shirt with black overalls over that, and also had wire-rimmed glasses. Unlike the other boy, this one had a kind face. 

"Wh who are you?" Gohan stammered. 

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Hehe, a cliffhanger! Well, not really if you think about it. Also, I'm not sure if the place where Mr. Popo and Dende live is called Kami's Palace, I'm just going by what I've heard. Please review! 


	4. Loneliness

Thoughts 

Chapter 4 - Loneliness 

Disclamier - I don't own DBZ, no duh! 

OMG, thanks to all the peeps who have reviewed! You all really brighten my day (even though I always update at night, oh well) ! 

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The meaner-looking boy spat at the ground near Gohan's hand and said, "You should know that baka! I am you, and so is he!" He pointed to the boy wearing glasses. 

The other boy smiled at Gohan and said kindly, "What he means is that he is the Saiya-jin inside of you, and I am the human. That's why you can't fly!" 

"What do you mean?" 

The Saiya-jin shouted, "We are you, don't you get it?! Without us, you have no personality or skills, you don't even exist!" 

"But why are you here? What do you want with me?" Gohan asked. He wasn't feeling very comfortable talking to two boys that claimed that they were him. 

The human sat next to Gohan and started to explain, "We have seen how you have been so depressed lately. We think that the only solution is for you to decide if you want to be a Chikyuusei-jin or a Saiya-jin, and we want to help you decide that!" 

Gohan was feeling very uncomfortable now. Why should he choose one over the other? It didn't make any sense! Plus, how could he be talking to his own personalities? 

"Except that I'm going to win!" the Saiya-jin boasted, pointing to himself. 

The human jumped up and argued back, "No you're not! Gohan hates fighting, why would he want to be like you?" 

"BECAUSE! Why would he want to be a weak, pathetic human that can't even defend himself?" 

"Whom are you calling weak! Kuririn's pretty strong and he's a human!" 

"I could kill him in a second!" 

Gohan sweat dropped. _You'd never think that they are me_

"Well, you can't kill him so too bad! It's up to Gohan." the human poked his tongue out at the Saiya-jin and turned towards Gohan. 

"Err I don't know." 

The Saiya-jin looked down at the ground in deep thought. He then pointed to the human and said in a suprisingly calm voice, "Well, he is always scared and doesn't react when he should. Remember all the times that you have let everyone down because you have been too scared Gohan? Think of all those times! Radditz, Nappa, the Ginyu Force, I could go on forever!" 

Gohan looked down at the ground, his eyes quivering with shame. It was true, many times his friends had become hurt or even died because of him. 

"See?! Even now you know that it was your fault! That was also the reason why you turned Super Saiya-jin, because you were enraged at yourself for always letting everyone down, and being so dependent. If you chose to stay a Saiya-jin, you would always be brave, and wouldn't that be better for your Kaasan?" 

Gohan continued to stare at the ground. What the Saiya-jin was saying was very true indeed. 

The human then stepped forward and gazed down at Gohan. He noticed that Gohan wasn't looking at him, but he continued anyway, "Even though those are all good points, your Saiya-jin side is also a letdown. When he is in control, he _overreacts_! He doesn't think before he acts, and that is always a terrible habit to have. The reason why your Tousan died was because your Saiya-jin side took control and acted foolishly. He simply toyed around with Cell, when he could have killed him much earlier. Also, you know that many have told you that you have a hidden power. This power is unleashed only when you are angered, and it results in a dramatic increase of ki and cunning. Of course, that is when the Saiya-jin side has full control over you. Even though that can be a good thing when fighting enemies, it doesn't last forever, and you usually end up not knowing what you had just done and are disorientated. That gives your enemy time to attack." 

_That's just as bad as my human side, in fact, even worse. At least all of those other times we were eventually able to revive those that had died. But Tousan is gone forever, and will probably never come back._

__

__Gohan was becoming angry again. He clenched his fists and struck the ground repeatedly, all the while shouting, "IT'S ALL MY FAULT! IT'S ALL MY FAULT!" 

The Saiya-jin walked up to Gohan and swatted his face with his tail. He smirked and questioned, "So have you come to a conclusion? You better choose now, because we will not give you this opportunity again!" 

Gohan looked up into the eyes of his Saiya-jin half, his mouth drawn back in a snarl and shouted, "WHAT'S THE POINT OF CHOOSING?! EITHER WAY I, AM A COMPETE FAILURE!!!!!!!!" 

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Gohan sat up in surprise. He was sweating and panting heavily, and he felt as if he had used up all of his ki. 

_It was all just a dream? But it seemed so real! Still, it has shown me that I am a complete failure. I will do no good to anyone here on Chikuu-sei!_ Gohan realized what he must do. He gathered up his ki and flew away from the rain forest. 

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Gohan was going to visit his Kaasan just one more time before he would leave. He saw his house in the distance and landed in the forest nearby. He then noticed that he had landed outside the cave of one of his old friends, Haiya-Dragon. 

Gohan walked into the cave, expecting Haiya-Dragon to come rushing out to greet him. But not a sound could be heard. Even the birds outside were hushed. Gohan shivered as he didn't like the eerie silence. He walked further into the cave until he saw Haiya-Dragon sleeping on his side. Gohan tiptoed towards the dragon, wondering if he would wake up. But he didn't. He was so close to Haiya-Dragon now that he was wondering why the little dragon hadn't smelt his presence. 

"Haiya-Dragon!" Gohan whispered. 

Haiya-Dragon did not budge. Gohan looked at his friend intently and noticed that he wasn't moving at all, not even breathing. He stepped back in shock, but then remembered all those times when Haiya-Dragon had tricked him into thinking that he was dead. Then he would jump up and knock Gohan over playfully. 

Gohan grinned and said softly, "No pranks Haiya-Dragon! I know that you're pretending!" 

Still the dragon did not move. Gohan's grin turned into a concerned frown as he tried to shake Haiya-Dragon. The instant he touched the dragon's scaly back, his hand was burnt. Gohan yelped and pulled back his hand. It wasn't heat that had burned the half Saiya-jin half Chikyuusei-jin hybrid, but the freezing cold of Haiya-Dragon's hide. Gohan knew that dragons were cold-blooded and that they usually felt cold. But never as cold as Haiya-Dragon was now. 

He then realized that the only time when dragons became so cold, was when they were dead. Gohan fell to his knees, staring at Haiya-Dragon's lifeless body in disbelief. He couldn't believe it, one of his oldest and closest friends was now dead. Tears welled up in his eyes as he tried to hold them back, but failed. 

"HAIYA-DRAGON!" he cried. He was sobbing uncontrollably, his grief overcoming him. 

_I should have come to visit you before the Cell Games, but I didn't! The last time I actually did visit you was a day before the __Jinzouningen__s appeared That was so long ago! You weren't even very old for a dragon, in fact, you were just a baby! You must have died of loneliness. Oh, Haiya-Dragon!_

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__"Gohan?" a voice asked from outside the cave.__

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__"Go away!" Gohan wailed. 

The person who owned the voice slowly walked into the cave. He saw Gohan on his knees, crying. He then saw that in front of Gohan was a little, purple dragon that wasn't moving. He gasped, _That was the little dragon that Gohan befriended so many years ago! But now he's dead!_

__

__Gohan stood up off of the ground, still sobbing. He turned around and glared at the person who had dared to disturb him. Couldn't the stupid yaro see that Gohan wanted to be alone? Gohan's eyes then widened in surprise as he saw another one of his old friends, Kuririn. "Kuririn-san?" 

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*Sniff* I really did cry when I read this chapter. It's just so sad! Well, that's what I think happened because the last time we ever see Haiya-Dragon was during the Garlic Jr Saga. Please review! 


	5. Disappearance

Thoughts 

Chapter 5 - Disappearance 

Disclaimer - *Sighs* No, I do not own DBZ. 

I know I say this every time but, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU everyone who reviewed! 

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Kuririn walked cautiously over to Gohan, as he knew that Gohan was indeed upset and could have been angry. Gohan looked down at Haiya-Dragon through the corners of his eyes. Tears appeared yet again and he fell to the ground, weeping. Kuririn placed his hand on Gohan's back, trying to be of reassurance. He had heard that Gohan had ran away from home and that he had injured Piccolo quite badly, but why did this have to happen also? 

Kuririn tried to give a fake smile, but it didn't work very well. Softly he said, "I'm sorry Gohan. He probably was just old." 

Gohan looked up at Kuririn and cried, "He wasn't old! He was actually very young, dragons are about the size of a small house when they are considered old! He died of loneliness, I just know it! I didn't visit him any time after the Jinzouningens arrived!" By then, Gohan was so overcome with heartache that he couldn't even talk. It wasn't just Haiya-Dragon. Nearly everyone Gohan had ever known had had something terrible happen to them. He was now even more determined to leave. 

Kuririn then said, in a still gentle tone, "Come and visit your Kaasan Gohan. She misses you terribly, and has a surprise for you." 

_I don't care about any surprises! I just want to say good bye to Kaasan and leave! _Even though Gohan wasn't in the mood for any surprises, he nodded and left to go home for the last time. 

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Gohan walked through the doorway to his home with Kuririn following closely behind. He was a little taken back that his Kaasan hadn't come running to him and hugged him so hard that he couldn't breathe. Kuririn then led Gohan to his Kaasan's bedroom. _What happened? Oh please Kami, let Kaasan be all right!_

__

__What Gohan saw was not what he had expected. Everyone that he knew was standing around his Kaasan's bed. Strangely Juuhachigou was also there, why she was Gohan did not know. 

Then he saw his Kaasan, sitting up in her bed and holding something. When she noticed Gohan, she didn't get out of bed to go running to him like he thought but she did say, "Gohan-chan! Thank Kami, you're all right!" 

Gohan looked curiously at the bundle in his Kaasan's arms and asked, "What's that?" 

His Kaasan smiled happily at what she was holding and motioned for Gohan to come closer. Gohan walked towards the bed, a feeling of curiosity and fear spreading through him. He didn't know why he was afraid, but he knew that he was very curious to know what the bundle was. "Gohan-chan, this is Goten. He's your new Ototochan!" 

Gohan blinked his eyes in surprise and leaned over to see his little brother. Goten looked up at him and smiled, giggling happily. Gohan gasped and stepped back a few steps. _He looks just like Tousan! Particularly his hair! But why, why must everyone and everything remind me of Tousan? I already know it's my fault, they don't have to keep on reminding me!_ He continued to back away, eventually bumping into Juuhachigou. She growled in annoyance, but he ignored it. All he could see was his Kaasan looking at him and holding Goten in her arms. Goten, the little infant who looked so much like Son Goku, stared at Gohan curiously. He backed away one more step and announced, "Sayonara Okaasan!" 

His Kaasan was started and trembled. "Go han" Gohan looked at his Kaasan for the last time, and fled. He rushed through the front door and as he heard his Kaasan screaming, "Gohan!", he intensified his ki. 

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Gohan knew that he had to get it over and done with _now_, otherwise he would never get the chance. He flew until he had reached his destination, Yunzabito Heights. He had never been there before and had only heard about it from Bulma-san and some books he had read. It was said to be the end of the Earth, even though that wasn't true, and was also very cold and barren. It was a perfect place for Gohan to end his life, so that he would no longer have to face such torment and struggle. And he wouldn't be such a disappointment to everyone he knew. 

He hovered above the forlorn cliffs, looking for something that he could use. He eventually found a sword lying on the ground, and examined it carefully. It had a handle strangely made out of marble with carvings of Porunga and the seven Dragonballs surrounding him. Gohan came to a conclusion that this was once the old Kami-sama's sword, when he had still been very young and had not yet split himself into two halves. Gohan found it very peculiar that such an old sword was completely rust-free, and was as shiny and sharp as a brand new sword. 

Gohan mentally slapped himself as he realized that he was stalling. He picked up the blade and aimed it at his heart, but hesitated as he sensed many ki's flying towards him. He lowered the sword but kept a hold of it, trying to sense who the ki's belonged to. 

Before he could identify them, Vegeta, Piccolo and Kuririn landed, surrounding Gohan so he couldn't escape. Piccolo noticed the sword and recognized it straight away. He then realized that Gohan had almost killed himself with it, and trembled. Kuririn noticed it soon after and also started to tremble. Vegeta simply stared at Gohan with his emotionless eyes, trying to figure out a way to destroy the sword. 

Even though he knew they were trying to help him, Gohan glared at the others and said angrily, but with an even tone, "Leave me now! Don't you see that I don't want to live any more?!" 

Kuririn shuddered as he didn't like it when Gohan used that tone. He put out his hands in a 'stop' gesture, and pleaded, "Please put the sword down Gohan. We can talk about this!" 

"There's nothing to talk about!" Why wouldn't they just leave him in peace?! 

Vegeta spat at the ground and said in almost exactly the same tone as Gohan, "Of course there's something to talk about yaro, otherwise you wouldn't be trying to kill yourself!" 

Gohan focused his attention on Vegeta and said, "Don't talk to me like that!" 

Vegeta uncrossed his arms and shouted, "You shouldn't talk to _me _like that! You are of a much lower rank than me gaki!" 

Piccolo growled and said as calmly as he could, "Don't push it Vegeta. You know what will happen if you infuriate Gohan." 

Just then, Dende and Mr. Popo landed on the ground behind Gohan on Mr. Popo's magic carpet. 

Gohan looked over his shoulder and cursed, "Kuso!" Things were becoming very difficult. If he stabbed himself, Dende would just heal him. 

Dende then cried out, "Don't do it Gohan! There's no point in committing suicide!" 

Gohan was really becoming annoyed. Nobody could see that without him, Chiykuu-sei would be a much better place. Everybody always seemed to suffer because of him, so why not just end it now?! 

Gohan screamed as his sable eyes turned into a cold, aqua color and his hair turned golden. He then shouted so loud that he caused the ground to shake, "HOW CAN I FORGET ABOUT WHAT I HAVE DONE?! EVERYONE ALWAYS SUFFERS BECAUSE OF ME!" 

Everybody cringed at the pitch of Gohan's voice. He then disappeared right before their eyes. 

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I really like doing cliffhangers now! Hehe. Now, I know I usually update really fast, but that was because I had been typing this while Fanfiction.net was down. So the next update might be a little of a wait, but don't despair! I will update as soon as I can! 


	6. Violence

Thoughts 

Chapter 6 - Violence 

Disclaimer - *Yawns* I really am becoming sick and tired of doing these all the time, but I have to. I don't own DBZ. *Yawns* 

Hehe, I guess my cliffhangers are working! The one in this chapter isn't so bad, because I know you all hate cliffhangers! Anyway, when I meant 'disappeared', I meant like Gohan doing a Zanzoken. I just couldn't be bother typing that name. Anyway, thanks everyone who reviewed! Also, I knew that I said that this might take a while, but it seems I got it up as fast as I usually do. Hmm, I must have been very creative last night. 

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Piccolo looked about him frantically, trying to find Gohan's ki. Vegeta had already located it, however, and quickly turned Super Saiya-jin. He chased after Gohan, and the others followed suit. 

Vegeta disappeared and reappeared just in front of Gohan. Gohan looked on in shock as Vegeta kicked him to the ground. Vegeta then spotted the sword which Gohan had dropped and caught it. 

The others arrived as they saw Gohan crashing into the ground and Vegeta holding the sword. They grinned happily, but that was short-lived as they heard Gohan screaming again. A harsh wind blew over them, almost causing them to lose balance. Lightning streaked across the sky in its own silver glory. 

Suddenly, the screaming came to an abrupt halt as if the one who had been screaming had lost consciousness. They all looked in the direction of Gohan's silenced screaming. None of them could sense his ki and were looking around frenziedly, trying to find where he was. 

Vegeta unexpectedly groaned and doubled over in pain. Then he was sent crashing towards the ground. He dropped the sword and just as it was about to hit the ground, Gohan caught it. Everyone looked on in shock as they saw that Gohan had ascended to his second form. His blank, expressionless eyes struck terror in each of them. 

Vegeta finally was able to stand up and stared at Gohan with uttermost rage. How could it be that this eleven year old boy could be so much stronger than he? It was extremely maddening, and Vegeta found himself trying to keep himself from launching a head-on attack that would surely be his demise. 

Gohan glared back at Vegeta. The only thought that filled his mind was that Vegeta was in his way, and would have to be killed. 

Kuririn then shouted, his voice showing obvious signs of terror, "Gohan! Calm down, please! We can unravel this problem, I promise!" 

Gohan turned his head slightly so he could look at Kuririn and said, "Shut up! Shigata gai nai!" 

He turned his gaze back to Vegeta and smirked, "Vegeta! You will never beat me!" 

That was it, Vegeta couldn't restrain himself anymore. He started to attack Gohan head-on just as he had been planning earlier. But Gohan somersaulted over him at the last second and as he was still spinning, punched Vegeta in the middle of his back. 

Vegeta immediately became paralyzed as the wind was knocked out of him. He felt the coppery taste of blood at the back of his throat, but swallowed it hastily. 

Gohan who was still spinning, landed on the ground directly below Vegeta and still smirking shouted, "Baka! I warned you!" 

Dende who couldn't bear to see Gohan acting in such a way cried, "Gohan! What's wrong with you?! Can't you see that we're trying to help you?" 

Gohan's smirk vanished and his face turned emotionless. He gazed at Dende and said, "I don't want any help." 

As Gohan was distracted, Vegeta gathered up his ki, put his palm out if front of him and shouted, "BIG BANG ATTACK!" 

The golden attack rocketed towards Gohan, but he just stood there, waiting for the onslaught. 

Piccolo then shouted, "GET OUT OF THE WAY GOHAN!" 

The blast hit Gohan and exploded. Everyone except for Vegeta crossed their arms to protect themselves from the blast and closed their eyes. Vegeta stood still, smirking happily. The explosion became louder as a huge cloud of dirt spread across the cliffs. 

A few minutes later, the cloud of dirt and dust deteriorated. Everyone looked to see if Gohan was still standing there, but he wasn't. 

Vegeta crossed his arms and spat out the blood that had been developing in the back of his throat laughing, "You see bozu?! No one can beat me, not even you!" 

"Hmm, you were saying?" a voice echoed among the cliffs, sending chills up everyone's spines. 

Vegeta looked on in horror as Gohan appeared before him. To Vegeta, everything seemed to be in slow motion as Gohan advanced forwards; little, blue lighting bolts crackling around his body, his shimmering aura burning anything it came in contact with, his eyes showing a calm green like the grass of a large meadow, yet the startling blue of electricity and pain and most of all his face, unemotional and unreadable. 

"Of course I can beat you, Vegeta! You are the one will never defeat me!" 

Gohan plunged his foot into Vegeta's stomach, so hard that it went through and out the other side. Vegeta's eyes went blank for a second, as terrible pain flooded through his body. This time it was even worse than that time that Freeza had shot that beam though his heart. But he was unaware of this as he fell to the ground. 

Piccolo, Kuririn, Dende and Mr. Popo were beyond fear as they saw Vegeta fall as lifeless as a rag doll to the ground. 

Mr. Popo who not used to seeing such violent scenes, looked away even though the scene had been imprinted in his mind. 

Dende was traumatised. Gohan never acted this way! 

Kuririn was speechless. Even though he didn't really like Vegeta, it still wasn't fair that he was in such a state of torture. 

Piccolo, although used to seeing such things, was the worst affected. Gohan, the very first friend he ever had. He was usually so happy and pacifist, and always listened to ChiChi even though Piccolo didn't agree that Gohan's rare fighting talents should go to waste. But now, he was horrible and twisted, as if his mind had been warped. He was no longer kind and warm-hearted. He was now savage and evil. 

Everyone winced as they heard Vegeta's screams of pain. Gohan had gone back on the rampage and was pounding Vegeta mercilessly. 

Piccolo turned towards Kuririn and said desperately, "What's wrong with Gohan Kuririn? I know he was dispirited, but I never thought it was this bad!" 

Kuririn said, but keeping his gaze on Vegeta, "When I found him, he was in distraught. I then saw that Haiya-Dragon, the same purple dragon that Gohan has loved for so many years, was dead. I think that pushed him over his limits. Then, he had to cope with learning that he now had a totochan, and well, it just gets worse from there." 

Piccolo nodded and returned his gaze on the torture that was currently happening. 

Gohan was still tormenting Vegeta, who now seemed to be fighting to stay conscious. He was no longer screaming, but moaning in pain. 

Finally, Gohan ended his seemingly endless torture and shouted at Vegeta, "Never get in my way again!" 

Vegeta who was unable to speak, coughed up blood in response. Gohan scowled in disgust and kicked Vegeta a couple of metres away. 

Gohan's orange gi, which ChiChi had made him a few days before he had run away, was no longer orange and covered with Vegeta's blood. His hands were also covered, as he had also been punching Vegeta's wound. He was in no remorse over what he had done either. 

He looked at the others and shouted, "If any of you try to stop me, you will suffer as much as Vegeta. Then I will cause suffering to the whole world until you finally say that you give up! Make the right choice!" 

The others gaped at him, except for Mr. Popo who after making a slight glimpse at Gohan after he had finished tormenting Vegeta, had not dared to look again. Even without looking, he could picture what Gohan currently looked like. 

Gohan then heightened his aura, and flew off, still holding the sword. 

Dende stammered, "He he's lost control over himself! His Saiya-jin side has taken full control!" 

Kuririn shook his head and said, "Iie. No Saiya-jin is or probably ever was that violent." 

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Poor Mr. Popo! Hehe! Well anyway, 'shigata gai nai' means 'there's no help for it', or something along those lines. Please review! 


	7. Destruction

Thoughts 

Chapter 7 - Destruction 

Disclaimer - Don't own DBZ, never will. 

Hi everyone! I've just got to say that thanks to everyone who reviewed! I typed all of this last night, so it might seem a little rushed, I'm not sure. I've also got three other ideas for stories, so after I've finished this one, I'll start on another one! Enjoy! 

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Dende then gasped, "Oh! I better heal Vegeta now otherwise he won't be around much longer!" He powered up and flew down to Vegeta's immobile body. 

Piccolo looked into the distance at the direction in which Gohan had flown away. _Don't do it Gohan. It won't do anyone any good if you die._

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__As Gohan flew, his aura shone brightly. It was so bright that if you didn't look closely, you could mistake him for the sun. The blood that drenched Gohan's body was dry now because of the heat of his ki, and his gi was now a dark brown. His glare was so horrifying that if you merely saw his face, you would be having nightmares for weeks. 

Gohan growled slightly. He had to get this over and done with before someone tried to stop him. _Even though they will eventually give up in the end, I don't want to have to waste my time punishing someone else, or an entire city in that case. I just want to end my life now!_

__

__He enhanced his ki and flew to his destination even faster. 

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Piccolo looked on as Vegeta stood up slowly. To him, it looked like Vegeta was clearly furious. 

Vegeta looked at the blood that stained the grass, _his_ blood! He screamed angrily and was about to fly away. 

Kuririn shouted, "Vegeta! Don't go after Gohan! You'll be killed!" 

Vegeta shouted back, a huge note of anger in his voice, "Fuck that stupid gaki! He can die for all I care! At least then _I _will be the strongest in the universe!" He then flew off rapidly, not looking back. 

Piccolo smirked. 

Kuririn looked at him oddly and asked, "What's so funny at such a time like this?!" 

"Vegeta _does_ care. If Gohan died, no Saiya-jin would be around to worship him when he is the ruler of the universe." Piccolo then enveloped his own aura, its white power pulsing around him. 

Kuririn looked on in shock and said, "Don't tell me that you're going to try and stop Gohan!" 

Piccolo's smirk turned to a scowl and he replied, "If Gohan does kill himself, I will never be able to forgive myself that I hadn't tried to stop him." 

"But we can wish him back with the Dragonballs!" Kuririn cried desperately. 

"It wouldn't work. Shenlong only revives those who _want_ to be revived. Gohan would refuse." With that comment, Piccolo rose into the sky and darted away before Kuririn could say anything else. 

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Gohan was flying east. He did not know where he was going, but was just going by his instincts. He finally landed in a large, open plain. Many cliff sides were scattered around, and lots of new trees had seemingly begun to grow. 

Gohan remembered this place very well. It was where he had been taken by Radditz after being kidnapped, and where his Tousan had first died. He had not actually seen his Tousan's death himself though, as he had been unconscious. 

His thoughts were cut off as he sensed a very familiar ki land a couple of metres behind him. Gohan didn't bother turning around and instead said coldly, "I thought I warned you, Piccolo. If you try to stop me, you will be punished and I will also attack a nearby town or city. Do you not care about the sakes of others or even yourself?" 

Piccolo responded in an equally cold tone, "You would never go that far Gohan. Even though you are not yourself at the moment, you could never attack a city for no reason at all." 

"Don't provoke me. I can and will attack and kill the closest city's inhabitants unless you leave now!" 

Piccolo stood his ground. _Hopefully if I just stand here, he won't attack and might come to his senses!_

__

__As if Gohan had read his thoughts, Gohan added, "Don't think that if you just stand there that I will not react. I'm warning you one last time!" 

"Stop acting foolishly Gohan! I know that deep down that you don't want to hurt anyone, or yourself. You're just hiding it!" 

Before Piccolo could even see the oncoming attack, Gohan's fist had impaled his chest. Purple blood spilled out of the wound as Gohan retracted his fist. Piccolo looked down at his wound, and noticed that luckily, Gohan had decided not to push his fist through and out Piccolo's back. But the wound was still incredibly deep, and was quite fatal. Gohan's fist had missed Piccolo's heart and lungs by bare millimetres. 

Gohan turned his back on Piccolo and said, "You'll live. Dende is on his way here now. But still, I will attack the nearest city, which happens to be the Northern Capital." 

Piccolo gaped at Gohan and managed to whisper, "Iie, Gohan. Please don't do it!" 

Gohan did not reply, and with a burst of golden ki, left Piccolo. 

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Gohan did not hesitate when he reached the city. He immediately blew up as many buildings as he could, without being seen. He didn't know why he was bothering to stay hidden, as he was going to kill himself soon, but he just felt that it was the right thing to do. 

The inhabitants of the city were screaming in terror, not knowing what or who was attacking them. The amount of dirt and debris spread by the explosions was almost as large as the city itself. 

When Gohan was finally satisfied with the destruction, he left so he could end his life. 

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Dende landed with Kuririn and Mr. Popo and immediately ran over to Piccolo to heal him. 

Mr. Popo had tears in his eyes, but held them back. 

Kuririn shook his head and looked to the sky. _Goku, where did we go wrong?_

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Hmm, first Vegeta, now Piccolo! What's wrong with you, Gohan?! Oh wait, I made you like that. Well, OK. Oh! I didn't know you were here! Anyway, thanks for reading and please review! 


	8. Gone Forever

Thoughts 

Chapter 8 - Gone Forever 

Disclaimer - I don't own DBZ. 

Thanks for everyone who reviewed! I have two different ideas of how this story will end, one being shorter than the other. I don't know which one I'll use yet though, so you'll just have to keep on reading! 

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As Gohan was flying, he felt his Kaasan's ki below him. She was not at home, and was alone. Gohan decided to give her a proper goodbye, so he slowly began to descend. 

As he landed on the ground, many thoughts and emotions started to rush through his mind, as if he had been asleep for the past couple of days. He felt guilt, loneliness, remorse over all the things he had donee, but loneliness was the strongest. As he saw his Kaasan, he was tempted to shout out to her, to tell her that he was home. But he was still not in control of himself, and his emotions and thoughts disappeared just as suddenly as they had appeared. 

ChiChi tensed when she heard something land on the ground behind her. She slowly turned around and saw Gohan standing there. She began to smile happily as joy spread through her and managed to say, "Go" 

Gohan avoided her glance and looked at the ground. 

ChiChi knew that he had been looking at her, but why would he avoid her? She then saw his face and saw that it was hard and serious, and that he didn't seem to be happy at all. He also looked completely different, but ChiChi felt as if she had seen him like this before. She traced back and remembered that it was how he had looked when she had seen him on Baba's crystal ball. 

She gasped, and then said softly, "Gohan, you came home. Will you be staying?" 

Gohan's eyes looked at her, aqua meeting onyx. He sighed and said, but with hardly any emotion, "Iie. I came to say goodbye." 

Tears formed in ChiChi's eyes. Why did Gohan want to leave? "But Gohan-chan, why?" 

"The reason why I'm leaving is so that I can take my own life. If I keep on living, more people will suffer because of me, including you, Okaasan." 

ChiChi shook her head and cried, "Iie, that's not true Gohan! I will suffer even greatly if you die, I don't want you to!" 

Gohan shrugged and replied, "You have Goten now. I'm sure that he will be a much better son than I was." 

ChiChi was speechless, and continued to shake her head. 

_Now! Leave now baka, otherwise you'll never be able to! _With that thought, Gohan turned to leave, but felt his Kaasan's hand on his shoulder. 

ChiChi was talking between sobs now, "Please! Gohan-chan, don't go! No one will ever be able to replace you, not even Goten-chan. You are my first son, and I won't let you go and kill yourself!" 

Finally, some emotion came into Gohan's voice, "Please, don't Okaasan" 

ChiChi then grabbed Gohan in a hug crying, "Don't go Gohan! Don't go!" 

Memories of Cell flooded back to Gohan. That horrible voice 

Gohan yelped as Cell grabbed him in a bear hug. 

_Cell was laughing, laughing evilly. He hugs Gohan tighter and tighter, laughing the whole time, causing Gohan to howl in pain. Gohan screams, kicks, squirms, but he is defenceless._

_Cell, still laughing says, "What's wrong? Doesn't it hurt? Get mad, then. You're not going to die like this, are you?"_

_Cell tightens his grip even more, and Gohan continues to scream. He is in so much pain, but can't do anything about it._

_Cell then says, "Come on, don't be shy. Your bones will break soon! There's no reason why you should endure this pain instead of fighting with me_." 

_Gohan continues to scream as he feels that his bones are breaking. He thrashes about more violently, but it still doesn't help._

_"Get mad. Come on. It hurts You hate me, don't you?"_

_Gohan continues to scream, as Cell tightens his grip even more_

Gohan screamed and pulled away from his Kaasan's grip. ChiChi looked at him with tears flowing down her cheeks, confused and startled. 

"Get away from me!" Gohan screamed as he backed away from his Kaasan. 

"Gohan, what's wrong?! It's me, Okaasan!" 

Gohan stood still for a moment, then regained his senses. His expression turned bleak again and he apologised, "Gomen Okaasan. I think that I better go now. Please, don't try to stop me." 

ChiChi ran towards her son and grabbed his gi. She quickly let go when she noticed how much blood covered it, and stared at her hand, which was also covered with blood. She then ignored it as Gohan began to rise into the sky, and grabbed his leg. 

Gohan looked down and said, "Okaasan, let go!" 

"Iie Gohan-chan, don't go!" 

"Please, Okaasan!" 

"Iie Gohan! Don't" 

Gohan kicked his Kaasan strongly, and she was sent crashing into the trees. 

Something snapped inside Gohan, and he quickly rushed to where his Kaasan lay. She was unconscious, and blood was flowing from her nose and mouth. 

Gohan's eyes widened in terror and he shook her begging, "Okaasan! Please, wake up, please!" 

His Kaasan began to stir, her eyes fluttering. When she opened her eyes fully and saw Gohan crouching over her, she pushed him away and screamed, "Don't hurt me! Stay away!" 

Gohan blinked in surprise. His Kaasan was slowly backing away from him, until she was blocked by a fallen tree. 

Gohan stepped forward, but ChiChi screamed again and started to cry. 

Then Gohan began to remember all the things that he had done when he had been out of control. _Ve Vegeta! I almost killed him! And Piccolo-san too, oh, I can't believe I did that, what was I thinking?! And Kaasan I kicked Kaasan! I I can't stay here any longer, I have to go now!_

Tears also started to form in Gohan's eyes, tears from guilt. He sobbed, "Gomen nasai, Okaasan! I know now though, that I will never be able to forgive myself for all the pain and suffering that I have caused you. I will leave you, and you can be with Goten. Sayonara!" 

ChiChi saw the guilt in her son's eyes form into crystal tears. "Gohan" 

Gohan soared above the treetops. He looked at his Kaasan for the last time, his tears streaming down his face. With a burst of ki, he then flew away. 

ChiChi felt a warm, wet drop on her hand. She looked down at it. It was one of Gohan's tears 

Instead of calling his name for him to come back, ChiChi burst into tears, knowing that her son was gone forever. 

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*Sniff* Another sad chappie. I really do torture Gohan, but I guess most Gohan Fans do. I wonder why that is exactly 


	9. Sacrifice

Thoughts 

Chapter 9 - Sacrifice 

Disclaimer - No I don't own DBZ. If I did, I would be rolling around in a mansion full of $. 

Hi everyone, and as I always say, thanks to everyone who reviewed! You might not think that they're important, but reviews inspire me to keep on writing. I guess that's the same with a lot of other authors, but I wanted to say that myself. 

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Gohan landed on Kami's Palace. As he had thought, the place was deserted. Corrin and Yajirobe could be a problem though, so Gohan had to do this quickly. He rushed to the door of the Room of Spirit and Time, swiftly opened the door and walked in. Closing the door behind him, Gohan peered around the room. 

It was just how he remembered when he was training with his Tousan for the fight against Cell. _Tousan_

Gohan quickly drove the thought away, knowing that he couldn't turn back now. He sprinted out into the void, white nothingness, still holding the sword. He did not stop sprinting until he could no longer see the towers. _As long as I'm in the Room of Spirit and Time, no one outside the room can sense my ki. If they unfortunately do come inside, it will take them a while to find me, and by then it will be too late!_

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__Gohan raised the sword, but thought for a moment. _Kaasan would definitely be quite upset when she finds out that I'm dead. Maybe I shouldn't __NO__! After what I did to Kaasan, I will never be able to forgive myself!_

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__Gohan pointed the sword at his heart, and without any second thoughts, plunged the sword in. He felt no pain for a second as the sword pierced his heart. He almost thought that it was going to be a painless death, but as that thought crept into his mind, an incredible pain throbbed in his chest. It was unbearable, and Gohan gave a shout as his knees gave way and he fell his knees. His golden aura turned to a shimmering silver, then disappeared, his hair fell back to its normal placement and turned jet-black and his eyes turned from aquamarine to black. 

With his last shred of ki, he pulled the sword out and threw it to the side. The pain grew even worse as he had pulled it out, and he almost screamed in pain, but barely had any ki to even use his voice. He fell on his side, as he no longer had the strength to sit up. 

As Gohan felt his body start to become numb from lack of blood, he whispered, "Sayonara Chikyuu, you'll be much better without me" With that, Gohan breathed his last breath and closed his eyes. 

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Piccolo landed with Dende and Mr. Popo on Kami's Palace. Piccolo was defeated with shame that he had not been able to change Gohan's mind and that he couldn't sense Gohan's ki anywhere. 

Dende had been crying. Gohan had been one of his closest friends, and now he was probably dead if Piccolo couldn't sense him. He sniffed and asked, "Are you sure that you can't sense him Piccolo-san?" 

Piccolo closed his eyes and nodded grimly, "I can't even sense even a small spark of his ki. I'm afraid that he is already dead." 

Dende gasped, then stared at the ground. 

Mr. Popo was also quite sad, but was trying not to show it so that he wouldn't cause Dende to cry. He walked over to the door of the Room of Spirit and Time, and saw a faint blood mark on the door's handle. In surprise, he shouted, "Dende! Piccolo! Come here!" 

Dende and Piccolo ran to see what Mr. Popo was fussing about. Piccolo saw the blood mark and widened his eyes in shock. "Gohan!" 

Piccolo opened the door and ran in, leaving the door open behind him. Dende looked at Mr. Popo and they both followed. 

Piccolo looked around the vast whiteness, trying to find a flicker of Gohan's ki. There was none, however. He then remembered that the sword was magical, and gleamed with the person's ki who had touched it last. It had been a useful sword, because one could simply touch it and hide from whoever was looking for them. Their seekers would sense their ki and track it down, only to find a useless sword. Though the sword was useful, it was quite easy to overlook it when searching for ki's. Piccolo closed his eyes again and found the sword's ki. 

He followed it, not caring that he was going too fast for Dende and Mr. Popo to keep a close distance. 

When he found the sword, he was horrified to find that it was covered with blood. He looked from the corner of his eyes to the right, and saw Gohan's limp body. 

"GOHAN!" He ran to the young boy's body, and stared at it. A gaping wound was on Gohan's chest, and lots of blood had spilled out of the wound. Gohan's eyes were closed, and he showed no signs of life. 

Dende and Mr. Popo finally caught up to Piccolo, and were dismayed when they saw Gohan's lifeless body. 

Tears formed in Dende's eyes and he cried, "Gohan!"  
  
Mr. Popo also had tears forming in his eyes, yet was unable to talk. 

Piccolo refused to admit to himself that Gohan was dead. He shook Gohan's body, shouting, "Gohan! Wake up!" 

Tears were flowing down Dende's young face, as he shook his head. _Piccolo can't handle the fact that Gohan's gone._

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__Mr. Popo walked up to Piccolo and placed a hand on the Nameksei-jin's shoulder, saying, "Gomen nasai Piccolo-san, but Gohan is gone." 

Piccolo stopped shaking Gohan's body and sat back. Piccolo usually never cried, but now he couldn't help it. His best friend in the world was dead. 

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Gohan looked curiously around him. He was on a huge platform, and in front of him was a large building. He touched his gi, then noticed that it was not covered with blood any more and that his wound was also gone. He then looked up and noticed a strange golden ring floating above his head. _Huh? I've got a halo? Why have I got a halo when they do not know whether I should be in Heaven or Hell?_

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__"Hurry up and come in!" boomed a voice from inside the building.__

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__Gohan was startled by the sudden voice, then started to walk towards the building. 

As soon as he entered, he gasped. In front of him was an enormous wooden table that was much taller than he. What was more astonishing, was who sat behind the desk. He was three times the height of the table, and he was sitting down! He had reddish skin, thick black hair and also a thick beard. He was wearing what looked like a blue business suit with a white shirt and a red tie. The hat upon his head reminded Gohan of his Ojjichan. 

The man looked down at Gohan and introduced himself, "I am Lord Enma! I am the one who decides whether a soul goes to Heaven or Hell. Now, what is your name child?" 

"Son Gohan." 

Lord Enma started to read through a book that lay on his desk. As soon as he found Gohan's name he said, "Ah! Son Gohan! You're the son of Son Goku aren't you?" 

Gohan nodded, "Hai." 

Lord Enma looked back down at his book and frowned slightly, "I don't know how you could have been killed. You are the strongest person in the universe!" 

Gohan's face went stern and he replied, "That's because I killed myself." 

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OK, I know that a lot of you will probably hate me for killing Gohan. But being a Gohan Fan, do you honestly think that I'm going to leave him dead?! No way! As I said before, I had two ideas of how the story was going to end. If I had of chosen the other one, the story would've been completed by this chapter or the next. I wanted to make it as long as possible without it becoming boring. Please review! 


	10. Happiness

Thoughts 

Chapter 10 - Happiness__

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Disclaimer - I don't own DBZ, though it would be nice__

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__Hi everyone! I'm so sorry that I took so long to update, but I wasn't really inspired to write. I'm OK now though, and was finally able to finish this chapter off! Hope you like it, and please review! 

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__"Hmm?" Goku looked over his shoulder, as if someone had tapped him. 

Kaio-Sama turned around and asked, "What is it Goku?" 

Goku, who was still staring over his shoulder, said quietly, "I can sense Gohan's ki. He's with Lord Enma." 

Kaio-Sama's eyebrows knitted and he said, "But that would mean that Gohan is" 

"Dead." Goku finished. He turned back to face Kaio Sama, his face very sombre, and placed his fingers on his forehead. 

Kaio-Sama put out his hands and said, "Wait!" 

But Goku had already vanished.__

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__Goku felt his surroundings change as he was suddenly in front of Lord Enma's broad desk. Lord Enma was leaning over and talking to Gohan, who had his fists clenched. 

Goku gasped as he saw what he had not wanted to see. A golden halo was floating above Gohan's head. 

Lord Enma looked up as he heard Goku gasp and said, "Konnichwa Son Goku!" 

Gohan tensed, and slowly turned around. When he saw his Tousan, his eyes widened and he said softly, "Otousan" 

Goku ran over to Gohan, and placing his hands on Gohan's shoulders asked, "What happened? Is there a new enemy?" 

Gohan's eyes narrowed and he replied, "Iie, Otousan. I killed myself." 

Goku was startled and loosened his grip. He stepped back from Gohan and stammered, "Na Nani?! Gohan, why would you do such a thing?" 

Gohan's face remained emotionless, and he answered softly, "Because it's my fault that you died Otousan. Lord Enma just informed me that Kaio-Sama and his pets also were killed. Is that true?" 

Goku's eyebrows lowered and he nodded grimly, "I had to take Cell to his planet, because I couldn't think of any other possible place." 

Gohan looked at the ground and whispered so softly that Goku hardly heard him, "So it's even worse than I thought it was. I killed more than two people." 

Lord Enma cleared his throat, as Goku and Gohan had seemed to have forgotten that he was there, "Maybe you should both talk about this outside." 

Gohan nodded before Goku could reply, and walked quickly outside. Goku followed slowly, still in shock over what Gohan had done. 

As soon as Gohan stopped a few metres away, Goku said, "Gohan, it wasn't your fault. If it weren't for you, we would all be dead right now." 

Gohan turned to face his Tousan and saw compassion in his eyes. He began to feel his guilt slipping away, but then he remembered that his Tousan was dead. He looked down at the ground and said sternly, "I could have prevented Cell from blowing up though. I could have killed him straight away like you said, but instead I was a fool." 

Goku made no reply. Gohan looked up into his Tousan's eyes to see why he hadn't responded. Unexpectedly, Gohan was slapped by his Tousan, who looked very angry. 

"You were not a fool, Gohan, for killing Cell. You were a fool for killing yourself! Just imagine all the pain your Kaasan must be going through at the moment!" 

Gohan was in frightened. His Tousan had only struck him once before unintentionally, and that was because he was going to storm off to save Piccolo-san. _Piccolo_ Gohan's fear was wiped from his face and he shouted back, "You don't understand Otousan! I destroyed the Northern Capital, and killed many innocent people without feeling any regret! I almost killed Vegeta and Piccolo-san! And worst of all, I kicked Okaasan! How could I have done that to her?! She was afraid of me, Otousan! She told me to stay away!" 

Goku looked at his son, who had tears forming in his eyes. Goku then said, with a soft tone, "Why Gohan? Why did you do those horrible things?" 

"I DON'T KNOW!" Tears were rolling down Gohan's cheeks. He sat on the ground, pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them, and cried. 

Goku bent down next to Gohan and said, "Gohan, please listen to me. It wasn't your fault." 

Gohan looked up at his Tousan, tears' glistening. 

"If you are feeling anger at yourself because you think that I'm mad at you, I'm not. I am very proud of you for killing Cell, Gohan, and I will never blame you for what happened. It's Cell's fault, not yours." 

Gohan sniffed, and flung himself into his Tousan's arms. Goku was caught by surprise, but then hugged his son back. The father and son embraced each other, as Gohan cried into his Tousan's shoulder. 

"But all those other bad things Otousan, how will anyone ever be able to forgive me?" Gohan cried. 

Goku then said, "Don't worry Gohan, they'll forgive you. It isn't your fault that you did all of those horrendous, you were just acting out of anger towards Cell." 

Gohan pulled away from his Tousan and nodded, his tears starting to disappear. 

"We can wish back all of those who died with the Dragonballs, and you can be wished back also since now Shenlong can grant two wishes. Shall we tell the others?" Goku asked, a smile creeping up on his face. 

Gohan's last tear fell from his cheek to the ground. He smiled happily and nodded, "Hai!" 

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Oh! *Tears of happiness appear* That is so sweet! Oh yeah, um sorry, err, please review! 


	11. Patience

Thoughts 

Chapter 11 - Patience 

Disclaimer - I don't own DBZ, though it would be nice 

Hi everyone and thanks to all of those who reviewed! I have more to say at the end of this story, so enjoy! 

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Father and son walked back into Lord Enma's dwelling. Lord Enma looked at them both, concerned that they had not settled anything. But he was relieved to see that they both had smiles on their face. 

Lord Enma smiled and asked, "Well, everything is settled then?" 

Goku grinned back and nodded, "Hai! I finally convinced Gohan that it wasn't his fault, and he is ready to be wished back with the Dragonballs." 

Lord Enma looked down at Gohan, who almost had the exact same smile on his face. Lord Enma nodded and said, "Well, you better go then. Sayonara Son Gohan, it was nice meeting you!" 

Gohan nodded and bowed, replying politely, "It was an honour meeting you, Lord Enma. Sayonara!" 

Goku raised his fingers to his forehead and laid his other hand on Gohan's shoulder. In an instant, they were both gone. 

Lord Enma smiled and started again on his paperwork. _It is a good thing that Son Goku persuaded his son to be wished back. I would hate to see Gohan waste his life when he is so young._

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Gohan felt dizzy as they reappeared in front of a worried-looking Kaio-Sama. _I'll never get used to traveling so fast._

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__Kaio-Sama smiled and greeted, "Good, you are back! I was thinking that you were going to leave me here by myself!" 

Goku beamed and answered, "Of course I wouldn't leave you here by yourself Kaio-Sama!" 

Kaio-Sama's eyebrows lowered in thought. _Yeah, sure you wouldn't._

Gohan gasped and asked, "Are you, Kaio-Sama?" 

Kaio-Sama looked down at Gohan and grinned saying, "Hai, I am Kaio-Sama. And you must be Son Gohan!" 

Gohan was speechless, so he simply nodded in response. 

"Well, it's wonderful to finally meet the son of Goku! But how are you going to get back to Chikyuu?" 

Goku stepped forward and said, "Well I was hoping that you could help us by letting me talk to Piccolo so that he can gather all the Dragonballs to wish Gohan back!" 

"That shouldn't be a problem." Kaio-Sama turned around and started to search for Piccolo. 

Gohan watched Kaio-Sama curiously as his antennae-like features moved around. He really wanted to know how Piccolo and his Tousan had talked to him 

Kaio-Sama then said, "Ah! There he is. Now Goku, you know what to do." 

Goku rested his hand on Kaio-Sama's back and said, "Piccolo-san? Piccolo-san, are you there?" 

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Piccolo was jolted out of his meditation. He could have sworn that he had just heard Goku's voice. _No, I'm probably just hearing things._ Ever since Gohan had died, Piccolo had done nothing except meditation. He was trying to become stronger, for what reason he did not know. 

_Piccolo, can you hear me? It's Goku!_

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__Piccolo opened his eyes. That was definitely Goku. Piccolo then asked, "Oh, hi Goku. Why are you talking to me?" 

_Gee, that's a really nice greeting Piccolo. I just wanted to say that you should go and collect the Dragonballs, because I persuaded Gohan to go back!_

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__Piccolo did one of his rare smiles, "Goku, that's wonderful news! But wait, I can't collect the Dragonballs now." 

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"Huh? Why not Piccolo?" Goku asked, his joy gone. 

_Because the Dragonballs were used about three weeks ago, remember? They won't be normal again for a year._

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__Goku's shoulders drooped in disappointment. 

Gohan asked his Tousan, "What's wrong, Otousan?" 

Goku looked over his shoulder at his son and responded sadly, "You can't be wished back for a year because the Dragonballs were used recently. I guess we'll have to wait." 

"Oh yeah." Gohan was disheartened. His Kaasan would have to cope without him for a whole year, and so would his Totochan. 

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Piccolo was also disappointed. He wished that the Dragonballs were never stones and could be used all the time. He then decided to add, "I will tell everyone else about this though, Goku. ChiChi will be very relieved." 

_Well, OK. Tell ChiChi that I love her also._

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__Piccolo smirked and returned, "Don't get too dependent on me relaying your messages Goku." 

Goku laughed._ Well, ja ne Piccolo._

Once Piccolo was sure that Goku had nothing more to say, he left to tell everyone else the news. 

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Goku took his hand off of Kaio-Sama's back, turned to Gohan and said, "Well, I guess that you're with me for a whole year." 

Gohan nodded slightly, feeling happy that he would get to spend more time with his Tousan, but sad that he wouldn't be with his Kaasan. 

Goku turned towards Kaio-Sama and asked, "Is there any other tournaments Kaio-Sama?" 

Kaio-Sama pondered for a while and then answered, "Iie, I don't think so Oh yeah! Every one hundred years there is a tournament between the strongest fighters from Heaven and Hell to see which is better. It won't be happening for a month though. You were lucky you could participate in that other tournament, Goku. No one expected me to enter you." 

Gohan looked at them both quizzically, and asked, "Other tournament?" 

Goku turned towards Gohan and said, "Hai. I competed in this tournament that was held on Dai Kai's planet. It ended up being a draw between me and another fighter named Pikuhan." 

Kaio-Sama crossed his arms and pouted, "It wasn't fair. You were the one who won Goku!" 

Goku smiled and muttered, "Yeah whatever." He walked up to Gohan and questioned, "Well, do you want to go and do some training?" 

Gohan nodded. 

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Now, someone asked me about the other ending for this story. It wasn't really going to be that different, just a bit shorter. Gohan wouldn't have died and Well, I think you can figure out the rest. Also, I want to know if you want me to add a fight between Gohan and Cell in the story or not. Please review and tell me yes or no. Laterz! 


	12. Reunion

Thoughts 

Chapter 12 - Reunion 

Disclaimer - I don't own DBZ, though it would be nice 

OK, I know I asked everyone if I should add a fight between Gohan and Cell. The problem is though that I can't think of any way to write it without it being like an exact copy of their last fight, so I'm just going to let it be. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I love you all! 

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A year had finally passed. Gohan and Goku had fought in the Heaven vs. Hell tournament, and Gohan had ended up being the victor over Cell. Cell was very upset about this, and went around tormenting everyone in Hell. But he was put into a ki-resisting jail with help from Goku and Gohan. 

During his time in heaven, Gohan had trained with his Tousan and also under Kaio-Sama, although they didn't have a solitary planet to train on. 

Gohan guilt had been purely cleansed from his system, and he was ready to be revived. 

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Piccolo had gathered the Dragonballs quickly, and had assembled everyone on Kami's Palace for the revival of Gohan. 

Dende took a few small steps towards the Dragonballs and held out his hands saying, "Come out, Dragon! And hear my request!" 

The Dragonballs glowed, and the form of Shenlong soared up into the sky. His emergence was spectacular, as it caused the other people to shield their eyes from the light. 

Yajirobe who had been persuaded to come, grunted, "You would think that Shenlong would know that our eyes can't stand all of that light!" 

Everyone else ignored him as they stared in awe at the mighty dragon. Shenlong's eyes were a brilliant red, and were very keen so that he could see to great distances. His teeth were sharp and gleamed like silver. His long, snakelike body went forever, you couldn't see the end of it. Shenlong's stag-like horns seemed to carry a radiance that made the dragon so majestic. 

Shenlong then spoke, "What is your reason for summoning me?" 

Kuririn who had been informed on what the wishes would be used for, shouted, "I wish for everyone who was killed by Son Gohan to be revived and for the Northern Capital to be renewed!" 

Shenlong's eyes narrowed and he replied, "I can grant this wish, although you were very lucky. If you had summoned me more than two weeks later, this wish would be impossible." 

Dende smiled and responded, "We know, Shenlong! That's why we gathered the Dragonballs to summon you so quickly. Can you please grant the wish?" 

Shenlong's eyes glowed and he answered, "It will be done!" 

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Kaio-Sama turned around to face Gohan and Goku and said, "They have revived everyone who was killed, Gohan. They should be reviving you shortly." 

Son Goku nodded happily, and noticing the sad look on Gohan's face, asked, "Kaio-Sama, can we please be alone?" 

Kaio-Sama would normally have been offended, but because he knew the situation, he nodded and said, "Well, Sayonara Son Gohan. I hope to see you again one day." 

Gohan smiled and said, "I hope so too." 

Kaio-Sama then walked off into the distance. 

Gohan looked at his Tousan and frowned. He then asked, "Please tell me that you'll be coming back with me Otousan." 

Goku bent down to look at his son and said, "Iie Gohan, I can't. They can only use this last wish to revive you." 

Tears formed in Gohan's eyes and he cried, "But in a year's time, we can ask Shenlong to transport us to Namek-sei. Then we can wish you back by Porunga!" 

"Gohan. Remember what I told you, I don't want to be wished back."  
  
"But why, Otousan?!" Tears were now streaming down Gohan's face. He didn't want to leave his Tousan. 

Goku's face filled with compassion and he said, "Because something tells me that it will be better if I stay here. You and your Kaasan will be able to cope without me for a while. You need to be strong, Gohan, for your Kaasan." 

Gohan half-smiled at that comment. _I guess that I won't tell Tousan about Goten Yet._

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__Suddenly, Gohan's halo disappeared. Noticing this, Gohan rushed forward and hugged his Tousan for the last time. 

"Sayonara Otousan." 

"Sayonara Gohan." 

Then Gohan faded away. 

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Gohan reappeared on Kami's Palace. He looked around him and was amazed. Everyone was here! 

Shenlong then growled, "Your wish has been granted. Farewell." 

Shenlong then vanished in a beam of light. The Dragonballs rose up into the air and turned into stone. Then they flew off in different directions towards the ground. 

Everyone cheered that Gohan was alive, except for Piccolo who smiled, and Vegeta who wasn't even looking at the boy. 

Gohan looked around him and said, "Gomen nasai, everyone. I didn't mean to do all of those horrible acts of violence." 

Kuririn smiled back and said, "Don't worry about it Gohan! We're just glad to have you back!" 

Gohan then saw his Kaasan who was holding Goten. His Kaasan caught his gaze and cried, "Gohan-chan!" 

Gohan ran to his Kaasan and hugged her. It was so good to be back with his Kaasan. He then looked at Goten, who was laughing happily. 

"I'm so happy to see you, Okaasan!" Gohan cried gleefully. 

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Goku stared at the spot where Gohan had last been standing. He stood up, and started to walk off, a smile on his face. _I will always be there for you, Gohan, I promise._

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The End! OMG, I can't believe that I finished my first story! I just have to say that thanks to everyone who reviewed and supported me on this fic, and also thanks to all who read it! I will start writing my second fic shortly, so don't despair! *Waves goodbye* 


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